s: At least once a week, sweet sweet D assembles our furniture, lays out his tools, and guides us through a delicious scene. It’s a precious ritual that’s obviously very important to us both. But it also requires a lot of planning, communicating, prioritizing, and - often - shuffling of other plans. Because, also obviously, we are both responsible adults with full-time jobs as well as engaged parents of busy kids.
We’re extremely lucky as we both work from home, which lends a level of flexibility that a lot of people don’t have, but both of us have bosses and colleagues and clients and partners who all rely on us. Not to mention carpool and ferrying kids to activities. And god forbid if we want to have time for exercise or house projects. It adds up.
With all of our obligations, we’ve found that the empty house in the middle of the day is the best option. But that means being incredibly creative about how we keep all of the other balls in the air. With that in mind, here are a few things we’ve learned:
Be realistic. While we all want 8 uninterrupted hours to play, that’s just not reasonable. D has proven that a great scene can be only 25 minutes. Use the time you have wisely!
Communication is key. If you think that your schedule is too tight or that something might pop up, it’s better to communicate that on the front end so that everyone’s expectations are aligned. For us, it can be really jarring if a call pops up in the middle of playtime.
Flexibility is a must. Piggybacking on #2, if something does pop up, it does no good to pout about it and make the other person feel guilty. After all, they’re just doing their part to pay the mortgage or be a good parent.
Multitasking can be your friend. Well, at least for the Dom(me). D has become quite talented at conducting a scene while holding a phone meeting. It’s impressive and not something I could pull off as a sub. If a Dom(me) can manage it, multitasking can provide that much more time.
D: My little girl lavishes me with praise, some of it probably even warranted. For me, intentionality is the fundamental quality and pre-requisite for quality mid-day sadistic fun. We must plan for it. We must carry it out. We must want it with an enthusiasm that far exceeds that of simply wanting to cum. There have been many weeks where we weren't able to have the kind of quality session we'd like to have simply because there wasn't enough mental bandwidth to have that level of intentionality. That being said, a D with self discipline and a well-disciplined sub can certainly get it done with the proper level intent.
Once you've planned it out and are in the middle of flogging or vibing or both, it's important to create the proper mood. For us at least, this means leaving the outside world behind. No watches, no phones (if you can help it), and shades drawn. I like to have some background music on as well, just to help enhance the feeling of other-worldliness. I'll often bind my beautiful little girl to some piece of furniture or another and then go for a walk. It gives her time to separate from the 'real world,' and gives me time to dream up more ways to torture her lovingly. If necessary, as s mentioned above, the real world cannot be avoided, in which case, you bring it into the scene. Making her carry out her duties while I'm in a meeting is crazy enjoyable for us both.
Variety, too, should be mentioned as one of the key ingredients. Don't repeat the same thing every single time (no matter how much both of you love it). Don't have the same goals every single time. Not every session can be a brutal, mark-leaving affair. Every scene doesn't have to be long series of orgasms, and in fact, a lot of fun can be had from forbidding orgasms altoghether. Mixing it up will only serve to make your sub crave the next session even more.
s: Holy guacamole, that is exactly why I am head over heels for D.
But he's right: intentionality is the key to it all. And not just to a great scene, but to an even better relationship. Communicate and act with intention and you'll be amazed at what transpires...on all levels.
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